The Silent Killer

Only over the past few days I can say I understand the effects of stress, and even then I know what I have experienced is a lot less than many. Sporadically over the last few months I have had moments of dizziness, and some days I had blurred vision, but over the last week, it happened every day.

On Monday, I almost dropped a laptop after I almost fell over as I got up from my desk, having to hold on to my chair to stabilize me. Tuesday, I felt (although sober) that I was out of my mind drunk and had had too much shisha. As I walked home, I almost walked into the fence because I couldn’t stand straight. Wednesday I went to the Doctor and was sent for blood tests and for a CT scan.

I have never had a CT scan before. A brain scan. Why did I need a brain scan? Generally speaking I am not neurotic. I hate using Google as a tool to look up symptoms because it gives you the worst possible thing, but in this case, I was scared. Surely you only have a brain scan if there is something to be worried about, and apparently my dizziness, light headedness and blurred vision equated to needing a scan. No matter how blazé I was being, all I had in the back of my mind was that it was a tumor. When the Dr didn’t want to give me the results over the phone and insisted I came in to see her, I thought I was doomed. I was mentally preparing myself for the worse possible news. In actual fact, the scan was fine, my tests were fine. Turns out I have something called Vertigo, an in balance of fluid in the inner ear which was causing my symptoms. This was most likely triggered by stress. I was ordered to spend the last couple of days resting.

Think about the times you were drunk; so drunk that you couldn’t lie down without the room spinning. Imagine that happening at work, when you are sober. When you are walking home and you can’t walk straight- yet you know you are sober!! It is awful. It is not something that makes you look sick, but is rather all internal. It sucks..

I am not that surprised though that it was stress. Last week, I cannot even describe to you how I felt. Every day was more difficult than the day before dealing with issues at work and trying to make everything come together. I was coming home almost in tears because I felt I was hanging together like a piece of thread. The day I felt I was cracking, I had dinner with a couple of my good girlfriends. Those few hours helped my stress fade away a bit. 

Having had my blood pressure tested every day since Tuesday; it was very high during the week. I was worried and so was mum. Today, after a couple of days rest, it is back to normal. I have only been employed full time for a month, so I am almost certain that my body (and mind) is not used to all of this yet, and this was just its way of telling me to take it easy. I’m sure that as I get more used to it, I will adjust, but in the meantime, I have realised what stress can do. I’m only 25 and should not be having medical problems relating to stress!! After a motherly lecture this afternoon, I know I need to change a few things to find ways to de stress so I can avoid this again! ...

Wine anyone? :)