Only over the past few days I can say I understand the effects of stress, and even then I know what I have experienced is a lot less than many. Sporadically over the last few months I have had moments of dizziness, and some days I had blurred vision, but over the last week, it happened every day.
On Monday, I almost dropped a laptop after I
almost fell over as I got up from my desk, having to hold on to my chair to stabilize
me. Tuesday, I felt (although sober) that I was out of my mind drunk and had
had too much shisha. As I walked home, I almost walked into the fence because I
couldn’t stand straight. Wednesday I went to the Doctor and was sent for blood
tests and for a CT scan.
I have never had a CT scan before. A brain
scan. Why did I need a brain scan? Generally
speaking I am not neurotic. I hate using Google as a tool to look up symptoms because
it gives you the worst possible thing, but in this case, I was scared. Surely
you only have a brain scan if there is something to be worried about, and apparently
my dizziness, light headedness and blurred vision equated to needing a scan. No
matter how blazé I was being, all I
had in the back of my mind was that it was a tumor. When the Dr didn’t want to
give me the results over the phone and insisted I came in to see her, I thought
I was doomed. I was mentally preparing myself for the worse possible news. In
actual fact, the scan was fine, my tests were fine. Turns out I have something called
Vertigo, an in balance of fluid in the inner ear which was causing my symptoms.
This was most likely triggered by stress. I was ordered to spend the last couple
of days resting.
Think about the times you were drunk; so
drunk that you couldn’t lie down without the room spinning. Imagine that happening
at work, when you are sober. When you are walking home and you can’t walk
straight- yet you know you are sober!! It is awful. It is not something that
makes you look sick, but is rather all internal. It sucks..
I am not that surprised though that it was
stress. Last week, I cannot even describe to you how I felt. Every day was more
difficult than the day before dealing with issues at work and trying to make everything
come together. I was coming home almost in tears because I felt I was hanging
together like a piece of thread. The day I felt I was cracking, I had dinner
with a couple of my good girlfriends. Those few hours helped my stress fade
away a bit.
Having had my blood pressure tested every day
since Tuesday; it was very high during the week. I was worried and so was mum.
Today, after a couple of days rest, it is back to normal. I have only been employed
full time for a month, so I am almost certain that my body (and mind) is not
used to all of this yet, and this was just its way of telling me to take it
easy. I’m sure that as I get more used to it, I will adjust, but in the
meantime, I have realised what stress can do. I’m only 25 and should not be
having medical problems relating to stress!! After a motherly lecture this
afternoon, I know I need to change a few things to find ways to de stress so I
can avoid this again! ...
Wine anyone? :)
