The search for the cardboard box

A large black crate, high and daunting; a small box and a bin to help make the ascent, foot by foot you make your way to the top. Relief, it was quite easy. Takes you back to when you used to climb trees as a child- you smile. Cardboard boxes, of all shapes and sizes consume the inside- where to start? Large and small, torn and perfect; the hunt for the perfect few. This endeavour doesn’t last long; the good ones have been taken. Time to get down... and you realise you can’t. Your neighbour couldn’t care less- as he walks away you can imagine what he is thinking. Your flatmate trying desperately to help, but laughing at the same time as she sees you at the edge terrified to get down. You realise that you are actually afraid of heights. Hands are sweaty, heart it racing- and now?.. You think to yourself. Big sigh- there is no other option, you know you can’t stay up there forever. Eventually, you manage to get down and realise that it wasn’t actually that high- and now you have a story that makes everyone laugh!

Unemployed

Time eventually catches up with you and before you know it, the big wide world is yours for the taking. It’s a funny thing how life just whizzes by and you don’t realise. I think back to when I was still at school, and it feels like those years took forever and couldn’t get to the end fast enough. Three years of varsity on the other hand flew by. I feel like I blinked and it was over. It’s been three years of good times and bad times, but the memories that I have will always be with me. I remember when I was younger being told “high school is the best time of your life” or “university is the best” etc and I think that its different for everyone and just depends on your circumstances. My expectations when I started at Stellenbosch were very different to what actually happened. I was heading into it with the impression of what I had seen in movies; maybe American universities are like that- I don’t know, but I do know that I am so happy for how it did turn out. Although I have struggled from time to time with the language barrier, Stellenbosch was definitely the right choice for me. It is a student town and everything is in walking distance; although for some this may seem too claustrophobic, for me it was ideal. I have made the most incredible people here and I know that we will be lifelong friends.

As of Friday afternoon I am now unemployed; it’s not really official until Graduation next month, but how I see it I am now on holiday indefinitely. As much as I have wanted this day to come, to step into the “real world”, now that it’s here its daunting. Celebrating on Friday, half the people I was sat with are all in the same position as I am, and we joked about how we now have all the admin issues to deal with: updating CV, writing a cover letter, selling my car and all the others that come along. I had hoped that by now I would have had a job sorted in Cape Town and my own little flat to move into in the New Year, but things don’t quite work out as planned. I was a bit naive to assume it would all come together so fast, I think I just seem to forget that it is a lot more difficult because I am international! The long term plan is to come back here asap, but who knows where life will take me? Perhaps it’s best to stop making plans and just go with the flow.

I have three weeks left here to try and get done all that I put off. It’s not enough, but I’ll do what I can manage. Today I started the process of cleaning up my flat and all that I have collected in the last three years. It will take awhile, and it is an emotional process. Knowing that I’m not just moving down the road is a hard reality to face. I recently studied The Silent Minaret for my English exam, and how Issa’s disappearance isn’t complete until his brother packs his belongings up. It’s not exactly the same scenario, but packing up three years of your life, saying goodbye to your best friends is hard. Stellenbosch became my home (not that Kenya isn’t- it always will be, this is home in a different way), and I’m just a very emotional person! Hehe

So back to the job hunt I go, and let’s hope my status of unemployment won’t last too long!

Kwale

A couple of days ago I got a phone call from my mum; when she started speaking I knew immediately by the sound of her voice that there was something wrong; and I was right. My adopted baby elephant Kwale had just passed away. Today I received an email from the orphanage explaining what had happened.

Now Kwale was rescued when he was 10 months old when he was found trapped in a well. It was estimated that he was born in September 2011. Since he arrived at the orphanage he had been sick and had been on and off antibiotics; he just didn’t seem to be getting better. I went to see Kwale in July, and got a few moments of him standing up before he retreated to the corner in his room- covered in a blanket he looked adorable (If you go to my earlier blog “A home for baby elephants” you will see some pictures of him). When enquiring why he was so quiet, I was told he was sick, but that it was just a small infection- or so they thought.

Apparently, when an elephant is sick you can tell by the texture of their skin- Kwale’s was “flaky and thin” which was not a good sign. He also had loose stools, stomach pain and a high white blood cell count. He was given B12 and more antibiotics, but nothing seemed to be making a difference. On the 26^th of October he refused his milk, and was barely eating- it was then that they put him on life support; he was too weak to even stand. The following day, they realised that although Kwale had been fighting, he wasn’t strong enough. Instead of prolonging his suffering, the hard decision was made to turn his life support off. On the 28^th he was finally in peace. After his death an autopsy was carried out and it was found that his large intestine was injured, which was most likely caused from when he fell down the well. It was covered in necrotic tissue which meant that the necessary nutrients were not being absorbed.

The vet and all people involved at the orphanage did everything they could to save Kwale- there was no way to know that this had happened and there was nothing they could have done different to have saved him.

I am sad; he may not be a “pet” that I can keep in my garden, and I only saw him twice- but I always knew he was mine. When I went home during my holidays I always looked forward to going to see my elephant. So I will miss my “big little baby”.

The funds that were paid for Kwale are now being transferred to his room and play mate Ngasha. This orphanage does a wonderful job, and I just keep reminding myself that he at least had a couple of years of unconditional love from his four legged and two legged family. If it hadn’t been for them, he would have died in that well.

Rest In Peace Kwale xox

Trick-or-Treat

Halloween reminds me of when I was still a child; so excited to get dressed up as the scariest thing I could and go door to door in my neighbourhood getting free sweets. I remember leaving a birthday party early once just so I could get home in time to trick-or-treat. Now however, Halloween falls in the middle of exam time. Every year I decide to throw a Halloween party, but every year time just isn’t in my favour. Right now, on Halloween I am studying the Transition of power in South Africa; not exactly the most exciting piece of history I must admit. When I was browsing through facebook earlier on one of my procrastination breaks, I saw a picture of a friends Halloween ‘costume’ and it cracked me up. The picture was her sitting next to her white board that read “this will be you in 15 years –RUN” and she was surrounded with her study notes! Classic!

I contemplated buying the biggest pumpkin I could find today and carving it and putting it on my balcony, just so I could get into the spirit; but with this rain and studying to do I just didn’t get a chance. Maybe I should be original and celebrate my own Halloween in a few weeks time- and have a pumpkin carving competition!

There have been parties left right and centre since last week to get into the “Halloween spirit”- great, but I haven’t been able to go to anyone. As much as my exam timetable is amazing, and I probably do (or did) have the time to do it; these are my last exams of my university career- (no pressure hey?) so I decided that the majority of my social life will have to be put on hold- 2 weeks and then I can celebrate!

Anyway my fellow people have a wonderful Halloween wherever in the world you are.

United we shall stand

Horror, Anger, Sadness.

Horror for the lives you have taken,

Anger that you could be so heartless,

Sadness for the families torn apart from such unnecessary deaths.

You killed men, women, children.

You destroyed lives.

You have tried to pull us apart,

But will not succeed.

Kenya has united as one;

Race, religion nor class plays a role.

We will stay together, we will support each other and we will win.

There is no justification to what you have done,

It is cold, blooded murder-

You cowards.

Nothing you do will tear us apart.

Thoughts and prayers to those that have left us,

Thoughts and prayers who survived the attack,

Thoughts and prayers to all Kenyans affected.

Do not lose support, do not give up.

United we shall stand.

I am proud to be Kenyan;

That magnificent place I call home.